Billie,
When I was searching for blog posts about OnlyFans to get perspectives from women who are in favor of it, I stumbled across your blog. Based on the title alone, I was expecting to read the perspective of a woman who is choosing to start an OnlyFans and ignoring the objections from those who care about her.
Reading through your introduction, I gained trust and respect for you for the way you have learned to manage advice. I love that you are able to hear advice and not identify with it before analyzing whether or not, and how it aligns with your goals - this is a behavior of a very emotionally intelligent and wise person. It is rare to come across someone who sees the value in always opening themselves up to advice, even when it is unsolicited, thanking the person because you know they have kind intentions, and filtering the components in your mind on your own time. Presenting yourself as an emotionally responsible person made me ready to read whatever argument you were about to make and trust that even if I disagreed with it, it would have solid grounds because of what I know about the way you think.
Although I was ready to read something I disagreed with, and although a stranger on the internet's opinion of what you believe is best for you probably doesn't carry much weight, I think it is worth letting you know I swelled with a sense of pride when you said that you don't want to make an OnlyFans, even if you can't put your finger on exactly why you don't want to.
Feelings come first, and logic and reason follow behind to explain them. Sometimes feelings come first and the logic and reason are slow to follow. The fact that you know that "twerking on someone's timeline" simply doesn't align with the vision you have for yourself, even if you have no desire or reason to point out exactly what part or why it doesn't align with your values, means that you are listening to your intuition.
It sounds like you have come a long way. From internalizing the advice of others to the point of having it carry you to a dark place to being able to keep the advice of others at bay while following only your intuition is a HUGE, huge, huge stride.
From the way you have learned to identify your values and use them as a guide for life, to the way you have learned to value what your intuition tells you over what others tell you, you are 100% on the right track (in my most humble opinion). Keep going! I am looking forward to reading more of your work.
Z Neutral
