Man’s World | Woman’s Earth: Men’s Sexual Perception

How the misunderstanding of fundamental difference in perception between the genders leads to uncomfortable women and embarrassed men.

Photo by naeim jafari on Unsplash

If you haven’t already, read the foundation of my philosophy here.

If you’ve read my series, Man’s World | Woman’s Earth, you know that I am the farthest thing from a man hater. I think men at their best are honorable, noble, and indispensable to society.

Keyword: at their best.

Most men don’t try, or don’t know how, to be their best in the eyes of women, the Selectors of civilization.

There is so much untapped potential in the majority of men that I’d like to help reveal.

While women view men through a lens of utility, i.e., “what can he do for me?”, men naturally see women through a sexual lens. Men don’t try very hard to hide this fact, being provocatively honest about it in stand up comedy, for example. It’s evident in the statistics about sexual harassment and assault, and it’s evident in the interactions women experience daily.

Women do not view the world through the same sexual lens.

This fundamental difference in perception causes men to regard interacting with women as an eternal mystery.

A lot of attempted interactions between the genders end with an offended woman and a confused man. One reason for this is that women can be incredibly dramatic, and women love attention. Another possibility is that a man has attempted to interact with a woman without pretending he’s not thinking about having sex with her.

Men often lead interactions with women with sex; they make sexual references every chance they get, they fake-innocently comment on the woman’s body, and/or they take any chance they get to touch the woman. This could be anywhere from a pat on the shoulder to an awkward, unnatural hug.

Being that women live in a world where half of the people she interacts with every day are not only perceiving her as a quest, but they are also exponentially stronger than her, women will always feel an inherent potential threat in interacting with men. Compared to men, women have a heightened sensitivity to the intentions of others, so women can read when men are trying to shift the interaction to a sexual one. They also will be more sensitive to touch, actively avoiding it while men are actively seeking it.

The inherent threat is there, regardless of whether or not the man is thinking about turning the interaction physical. It’s equivalent to carrying a gun. Using it may not even cross your mind, but the knowledge of your possession is threatening to others, nonetheless.

When men offend women in their attempt to charm her, they are left with confusion that can be a shot to their ego.

Often times when men lead interactions with their sex lenses on, women’s heightened intuition senses lust and depravity. On an energetic level, if the feeling is not mutual, it feels like standing by the entrance of a dark, humid cave. There is a sense of depravity radiating from the man’s body. In the same way that radiowaves are invisible to the human eye, energies radiating off of bodies are just as real. Just like you can feel the effects of radiation without seeing the radiation itself, women can feel the effects of the depravity reeking from a man’s body.

Men’s logic-based perception of the world causes them to act based mainly on what is straightforward, like words. Women are the opposite, constantly reading between the lines. Women often forget that men don’t navigate the world the same way, and expect men to read between the lines as well. This disconnect in the way men and women think causes men to unintentionally cause discomfort in women, and for women to assume that the imposition of discomfort was intentional.

It takes a conscious effort for men to read body language. If they’re not actively paying attention, they will overlook nonverbal signs that they are making a woman uncomfortable.

Most men are well-intentioned in their interactions with women, yet still wind up offending them or even leaving them feeling violated. Because reading body language doesn’t come quite as easily to men, I’ve put together a starter list of nonverbal cues to look for to avoid this situation.

Nonverbal signs that you are making a woman uncomfortable:

1. She doesn’t hold eye contact with you.
2. She flinches when you touch her, or even come near her.
3. She doesn’t turn her body towards you when in a conversation.
4. All of your interactions with her are initiated by you.
5. She doesn’t show any eagerness (raised eyebrows, open body language, big smile that reaches her eyes) in interacting with you.
6. She doesn’t try to break the touch barrier.
7. She backs away when you get close to her.

It’s normal and healthy for a man to want to be close to women, but the closeness can’t be achieved if women are repelled by the way he interacts with them.

Men — when interacting with women, try to keep in mind the perpetual state of fear that women exist in. Your presence is inherently a threat, and your subtle advances, when inappropriately timed, are that much more dreadful.

Women — when interacting with men, try to keep in mind that they are, for the most part, unaware of the perpetual fear that we live in and the threat that they pose. While sexual harassment does occur frequently, there are many times when it is unintentional. Try to verbally express your discomfort if you feel violated by the way a man is interacting with you. It can turn a potential #MeToo situation into a learning experience.

Read Next: Man’s World | Woman’s Earth: Be a Protector, not a Predator